24.11.08

The morning sun tells a story,
rays of light so bright,
trying to make its way through the semi opaque curtains,
not a jolt nor a ring of sensation
could tell my soul, "it's a brand new day"

The morning sun tells another story,
it's time to start anew
trying to burn my spirit to jump off slumber
deep within my weak body
my soul wondered, "what happened yesterday?"

The morning sun tells yet another story,
it's time to remain in slumber
pondering what God's game plan
with a little jounce of vim
I covered my cold self, "it's time for rest"

*..headache..fever..sketches..dissertation..food..blogging..model..tired..sleepy..*

why am i still here?

Life could be so zig-zaggy sometimes, you wouldn't like it!

Fresh from the cinema hall where I was almost dozed off watching Madagascar 2 ... Africa... (geez,I don't even remember the complete title of the movie), so anywayz, I was yawning dramatically in the car all the way back home. Completing house chores and some little grooming was the last thing to do before heading off to bed. Tonight I felt a little different. Before the movie started, I was talking to Kathryn about relationships. (oh! she's just my housemate) It seems she had a whole different perception of what love is all about and that past experiences made her forget what love is and for her confused what love really meant to her. In my life right now, at this phase, I don't see a relationship as a good thing but rather a commitment. Thus, friendship is the only option I opt for each time I meet someone new.

Let's just put it this way. I met this girl couple of months ago in a party. She is fine, pretty shy in the beginning and she's just a friend's friend. This is when facebook comes in real handy. I got tagged in an album with pictures of the party and she instantly messaged me. To my surprise, I was like "..err... isn't this girl the girl I met in Jo's party?" Since then, things blossomed quite nicely and rather sweet I would say. Until one day, when gestures and gimmicks were interpreted wrongly that it turned out to be what might be a serious relationship. I was instantly drawn back because it was a huge commitment I wasn't ready to commit. I ain't gonna hurt a girl's heart if I weren't thinking thoroughly. With that, I gave the opportunity a go. It went away and never return.

Few days back, I received another facebook message from a girl I barely know. ( I don't even know why she's in my friends' list) In the second message, she gave me her phone number. Yes! Desperate I don't know but it certainly freaked me out a LOT! and it is actually quite a turn down. In fact it is a huge no-no for me. Not trying to generalise but why are these girls so daring and outspoken that their instant introduction would be, "You can call or sms me at 01x-xxxxxxx". I'm so not buying it.

People do ask me why, why don't I get a girlfriend. My housemates are pouring that sort of questions and it is now a chant! Blame me for being the only guy (just the two of us actually) left unattached after my roommate got hitched by my housemate. I seriously told them it is just a burden and commitment I am not ready to handle. I let opportunities go just like that without thinking if there's more to come or probably that last one I let go would be the last for me. Can that possibly happen? Am I doing the right thing? For now, I'll leave it at the hands of God.

"Our lives are like crossroads. He chose our paths and if our paths crossed, that is fate - God's will and God's wondrous work."

*I'll just head to bed right now. My mind's relieved.*

in the midst of procrastination

We had a quite amusing presentation today after a stringent tutorial exercise marathon; whatever you guys decide to call it. Things went okay despite our structure being totally 'naturally deconstructed' when we came in the morning. For now, I'll let the picture do the talking.

*my eyes are swollen, face are oh-so-dark!*

run.... run....

I am really feeling exhausted at this point of time and I really wanted to let it ALL out! I thought I could go jogging in Taman Jaya but it's quite late right now due to long hours of tutorials. I wonder if I've committed myself to too many commitments? Caroling? Church? Scrabble? But my focus has to be on my studies! Why am I doing this? urgh! I'm feeling so not good right now. Stress led me to more food and I'm getting fatter!

Sometimes I wonder why carolling practice consumed so much time? I personally felt that there's an air of over-ambitiousness in the room and with the amount of time left, we wouldn't be able to finish practising all the song and to polish the quality before the performance. I don't want to have another torment during the performance. Everyone have to commit in one way or another but if the commitment is too heavy, I'm afraid I can't cope. I wanted to pull out from this project so badly but I can't deny the fact that music and singing praises to God releases stress and help me feel a lot better and calmer. Besides, I felt the connection with the Church each time I'm around a group of really nice people altogether singing praises to God. *skip skip skip*

I ydread to go to college tomorrow! Why? We're busy people. I'll make sure Wednesday is a free day to do assignments. I don't even have the time to read books for my dissertation. I kept renewing the books for 2 months already. It's seriously annoying! I don't know why time passes so fast! I don't know if I can take it any longer. People said I can cope and overcome. I don't have the hope to overcome this at this point of time! I need more food~ I so need more food~

Okay, I'm not trying to be sceptical or whatsoever, like when things have not been done, you can't tell what will happen or you won't know if it'll be a success but at this point of time, I just really want to let go many things! I want to LET GO~

*heads to kitchen to prepare some pasta dish*

just let go

....Munching a wheat bun with coarse peanut butter filling is heavenly when your stomach is grouching for food...

Catherine came to SFX to get Daryl boy's toy he left while he visited me here almost a year ago. Dealing with health products, Catherine was kind enough to let me try a special tea which boosts immune and metabolism. She knew I kept falling ill and complaining about headaches and stuff. I was indeed grateful! The thing which attracts me was the ingredients of the tea, namely green tea, lemon and hibiscus. I took a sip and it tasted quite weird at first but after a while, it's actually quite refreshing! This drink miraculously kept me awake without a yawn until now! (1.00am) and I felt hungry; yes I mean real hungry! :P

I felt so stressed up due to several problems which occurs concurrently and I'm beginning to freak out and started to break down. However, I felt blest God send me Patrik who made me feel so much better with his noble help! I felt really good after he obliged to help me out. I'm done doing precedence studies. I have all the information needed and I just need to translate everything on the final presentation sheet! I hope that I could finish half by tomorrow which would be brilliant! At least I let go of my burdens and felt so much better and could concentrate.

I thought yesterday's dance and singing session would help me release some stress but it was just short-lived. I'll pray harder! I am really tired of going to college everyday. It's such a waste of time especially during waitings! urgh! Okay, shall not whine anymore. Don't wanna be tagged the whiniest! Shall head to bed and work my ass of for 3 days! Good luck guys!

*it's 31st tomorrow! But no ice cream for me~ :(*

rum and raisins... strawberry cheesecake

I'm quite sick of listening to wrong interpretation of words in lectures. It's pretty annoying. At least get the facts right and not do us more confusion! (explains why many didn't pay attention in class..)

Okay! That is not the point. Does rum and raisins or strawberry cheesecake ring a bell? YES! It's the time again - 31st of the month. Baskin Robbin is having their oh-so-popular promotion again. I'm planning to quench my cravings and treat myself for being a good boy this week. I should right?

I miss my churchmates! I can't wait to see them again. Probably have to wait till Saturday. I'm currently trying to finish up the plan of the building in order to start doing the framing model. It's going to be another oh-so-many-assignments week again till the Interim Crit on Monday. Firstly, I need to get well from my illness - being lazy! I've been procrastinating for many many days already. I did my assignments partially at all times keeping them on hold whenever I don't feel like doing them. *smack myself twice* It's time to get up!!

I'm trying to fit my time properly and plan ahead though I am not a person who plans my stuff. I rejected 2 freelance jobs, one got postponed, one is on hold, three is coming up next month! I really hope I can cope with all these. What should I do? Hm.. Probably, will start thinking about it after my housemate's birthday celebration tonight at TreeHouse, Uptown. I just wanna shake it off tonight! My shoulder is getting heavier by the days and I really need to let go!

*It's time to get back to work again (dreadfully)*

Food cravings

My housemates went for JOGOYA!! and I can't join them as I have band practice for mass this weekend! I'm officially oh-so-busy~ With two huge submissions not far from sight, there are so many things to consider and decide. Honestly, it is giving me headaches every night and morning. Thus, to calm myself down, I made myself a hearty dinner to treat myself for being such a good boy last weekend! I made black pepper chicken stew with potatoes sided with garden salad. *yum yum* Oh! I had ham sandwich with scramble eggs for lunch though...

That sinful bites wasn't the end of my meal of the day. After band practice, the band members decided to go for mamak. Hell yea it's a cool mamak! They only serve rice dishes! URGH! So, cravings over discipline, I ordered Nasi Goreng Pattani. Urgh! That guilt of eating is so into me right now. Gotta take less calories tomorrow. *so bimbo right? he he he*

And these pictures just remind me of more cravings I am having right now.. hot chocolate.. Swensen's burger... Control! *mind's gonna blow*

I miss the hot choc in O' Briens...

And the chicken burger..^#%&*$^

*need to have more self-control!*

200

Yay! I finally reached my 200th post! huhu!

Been a rough week~ Yes! I mean REAL ROUGH! Don't like it...

My mind's still bit lost over a few irrelevant things I've been putting my head into these days and it's not nice.. Killing me bit by bit! ergh! I hate it a lot!

I need God's blessings and guidance.. yet.. Why am I not surrendering my all to him? I hate myself sometimes!

Gotta beat around the mulberry bush for just ten more days! and YAY! I'm free~ Gotta take a VERY GOOD rest before I start college.. It's gonna be so swift... BAM BAM BAM! work it Martin!!

*work in 40 mins*

taking chances

I'm on MC today.. been having high fever last night.. Felt bad leaving my half-done work behind.. and it's due tomorrow! shiet..

I need some advice...

Let's say.. If you're offered to work in Dubai.. what will you feel? Excited? Accept the offer immediately? or.. Spend weeks thinking about it?

There's a few things to consider.. First is the weather.. it's about 50C there.. that's very hot! And the food.. what about language? the people there? culture? do they have a church there? hmm.. But the good thing is you're able to learn new things, get exposure from a different retrospective.. I get to learn new culture.. explore new type of food! since I'm a food lover.. But can I take the heat?! hmm.. I scared first week there I'll get high fever or vomit blood coz too heaty~ muahahaha...

Well, it is indeed an irresistable offer.. I need advice from you readers.. hmm..

*dizziness never stop buggin' me doing things I want!*

honeycomb and syrup

I feel so sleepy even though I slept so well these two days.. Hm... weekend was a sweetheart~ Spent time at home.. meeting up friends..

Had dinner with Bryan and Adrian at Rumahku.. just beside SFX... The place so nice~ food's good too~ and Bryan was so excited with the service bell.. He can't wait to ring the thing so hard when we asked for the bill~ Halfway through our conversation.. I was so geram.. I grabbed the bell and ring it so hard! Gosh!! then the waitress came and ask.. "YES?" By that time we already annoyed her so badly.. "er...Do you have sambal?.. Thanks!" *nice cover-up?*

Huhu.. Watched Dark Knight today at OU.. It was really nice.. Despite the bloody long queues, company and movie was awesome.. Oh! I saw Mr. Soong with his girlfriend~ haha.. Hm.. Guess that someone can still bear the "long-gas-ness" of his.. hm...

I've nothing much to blog about these days due to work.. been exercising my eyes a lot looking at computer screen and lines and boxes and dots.. hmm.. gotta continue with the HITACHI design and proceed with the detail drawings unless that oh-so-damn-smart lady decides to change the design AGAIN! Already change this and that 4 times la!! Tolong la Ms Hitachi.. stop being so fickle minded!! ~like me~

Oh did I tell you? there's a piano in my house now!

*oh! let me remind you that I'm a banana~ I can't read chinese~ @.@*

I don't like goodbyes

how bad news can be....~

I spent RM300 repairing and servicing my car today.. huhu! @.@ Change the brake pads, smoothen the brake discs.. fa lala... the more I ask.. the more problem I have with the car.. and too bad I didn't inherit my dad's bargaining skills! haha.. I think no one's better than him~

Worked till 9pm something today.. reached home about 10pm..

Am kinda sad.. two of my housemates moving out.. And they are some of the closest housemate around.. The ones whom I share my problem with sometimes.. The ones who I enjoy cooking for.. hmm.. sob sob.. Need new housemates now.. hmm... Anyone need a room?

I miss someone....

*continue reading Why Do Men Have Nipples?*

rainbows and gum drops

It's been a very wonderful week... Despite being really tied up to work and new projects...

Thoroughly, I've spent maximum time at work... generous time with my close buddies.. You know.. normal things friends do.. hang out.. yam cha.. do lunch.. chit chat... But I've not been spending enough time with my housemates.. At most times, they are always either sleeping when I'm home or they are out studying when I'm back home.. And when they're home.. I'm already asleep.. and when I'm awake.. they left the house already.. HaHa...

Went One Utama alone just now for some shopping.. Need to get some necessity.. I sometimes felt I'm SO SMART!.. I got a belt.. was very fickle-minded over a GREEN belt or a brown one.. haha.. In the end.. I got myself the brown one.. and the SMARTEST thing was I measure the length of the belt.. BUT I forgot about the holes!! Now I've to figure out how to make the holes so that I can use the belt nicely..~ haihz.. so SMART! Had lunch with Adrian just now in One Utama.. So full now! :P And I went to see Elvin's work being exhibited in One Utama for the PAM student's work exhibition thingy.. HahA.. was so impressed with the Taylor College's Booth and some artwork.. Took some pictures to get inspiration..

Talking about work.. I really need new ideas and inspiration to design people's bedrooms and living rooms.. I'm currently working on my 3rd project.. a 4 storey semi-D-cum-bungalow.. Am in charge of the master bedroom and the kid's rooms.. hmm.. I think I need ZiZi to be my color guru! haha... I'm so not good in mixin' and matchin' colors.. hmm.. Probably I should get more magazines..

*Off to church now*

If tablets are like cereals...

It's the time of the year for me to have some extra spice in life.. High fever I'm talking about.. had it on Thursday.. Aunty GimSai nursed me well, I got fine and was on the roll whole Friday buying stuffs and doing decorations for the GYM Feast.. Even was fine for 'Wanted' in Pavilion~ haha..

Came Saturday morning, I was shivering the whole night.. and the temperature's rising up badly! I was energy-drained.. totally bad condition.. was so worried coz I'll have to be healthy and fit to start work on Tuesday and furthermore, I have an event on Saturday night to manage - GYM Feast.. Went to see doctor.. got medication and I swear! the tablets are HUGE! gosh.. I need to swallow like 7 big tablets in one go! I feel like puking swallowing them coz one of them has this pungent smell I hatE! yuck!

GYM Feast just over.. Thank god it's over.. the whole thing was okay.. not that great~ hmm.. people just came for food! ergh! anyways.. at least they made new friends.. I do~ huhu! hmm.. Gonna rest early and hope everything will be fine! I need to be well! Got choir practice tomorrow, Monday's my only time to buy things and go out, Tuesday gonna start work! have to remember to search for WhiteBoard Studio a day before going to work! haha.. gonna be a rough day!

*still having fever and gastric*

Ayam Tuai?

Look! What a cute way to sell chicken! It's so so cute! Those cocks being wrap like spring rolls and arrayed nicely.. You surely don't find this anywhere else except Sibu.. :) and wth is Ayam Tuai? Harvested chicken? hmm...

Going off for Scrabble session now.. ciaoz~

*Picture taken by Stevie*

Let Me Console Myself Ok?

I came back from Penang on Sunday night.. It was a really great journey.. we stopped by Taiping.. ventured into the old town.. Taiping is really a great place! nice food.. recreational area there is huge! it's like the heart of the town that keeps the city alive.. Hmm.. air there is so much fresher and less humid.. love it!

Penang was pleasant too.. Stayed in Aunt Paulette's place and I felt so blessed! Good food, good stay, good hospitality.. Aunty Paulette's a great host! Shalyn's a great driver too! ha ha.. The tourney I went to this year was fine.. just fine~ Main reason is coz I didn't win anything! not even the lucky draw! so unlucky~ Shalyn got a pendrive.. Aunty Yeap got herself a MP3 player.. Vannitha won herself a MP3 player too and it's green! eerghh! (jealous).. The tourney were tough for me though.. here's how it went..

First day was horrendous.. I lost 3 games in a row.. I lost composure meeting Alastair Richards and Seshi Ramanathan (both much higher rated than I am).. Lost to Sue-Jane.. mistake and unlucky tiles! last game before Day 1 ended gave me a lil' hope.. I thrashed Chow Xin Wei by more than 200 points spread to cover up for the 3 game damage..!

Day 1 ended - I was bottom 5!

Second day was better.. Like any other tourney.. I always do better on the second day.. I won 7 out of 11 games.. I lost to current World Champ - Nigel Richards by 102 spread, US No. 1 player - Jason Katz Brown (he's only 21) by 82 spread, Singapore Grand Master - Tony Sim by 108 spread and Malaysian No.10 - Ramaraj by 41 spread. Not that bad aye.. Considering how bad I am! However.. looking on the brighter side.. I beat Bob Jackman - 2 times Australia National Champion and WSC representative for the Aussie team, John Lam - Malaysia representative to WSC Kuala Lumpur in 2003, Micheal Tang - Singapore big gun, and several others.. not too bad la.. :)

Day 2 ended - I was 13th I think...

Third day was a lil's depressing.. I don't know why I kept meeting strong players.. I met Jocelyn and lost, then Alastair and I lost! both are higher rated than I am.. indeed they are better than me! hmm.. Then I met Shalyn.. that game was actually hers.. I was trailing all the way and manage to trick her to win by a mere 13 spread! I set a trap up... with LIRI which doesn't takes an 'S'.. knowing that she had 2 'S' and hoping that she'll put the 'S' behind LIRI to play the DoubleWord (DW).. My heart was gleeing when she played SWANS hooking to LIRIS.. kept quiet and when she pressed the clock! BAM! I challenged it off! and finished with DRENT (she challenged the word) it's either do or die! but yay.. I won that game and met Uncle Jin Chor pulak! so frus! kept meeting tough players.. but I was really lucky in that game with Uncle JinChor.. Managed to play several bingoes.. and won comfortably (458 - 314). Last game I played another strong U-18 player - Beng Way.. Okay.. I admit I am a sore loser.. I was so angry when he made a bingo and kept scoring so much.. he played UNROBED(76) , HAPAX(67) , and BOTTE(35) and already ahead of me by 80 points.. I just couldn't catch up after the 3rd play.. and lost it totally.. Although I have both the blanks.. Whatever la..

Day 3 saw me missing top 20 just by that bit! I was placed 21st out of 50 players.. how sad! heish! but I must admit it was a tough field.. and my ratings went up! yay!

Okay.. his might be a boring post for non-scrabblers.. here's some nice words I played and I saw during the tourney.. WOBEGONE, ECURIE, HAPAX, TANRECS, ZORILLE, COHOG. TYIYN. TWADDLES, PINYIN, VIRULENT, SKIWEAR, FREITIER, WHOOPSIE, MANTOES, ZEBRASS and VAGRANTS.. gonna study the words now.. planning to complete 6000prob before MENSA tourney.. :)

*anyone wanna play scrabble?*

Away to Penang

Fuhh....

Monday's Kungfu Panda was not too bad... Bryan got new car! heish.. Mazda RX8 summore! so cool looking.. and it's red!

Tuesday's Scrabble Rapid Training was fantastic.. Played the whole day.. Had great homecook meals.. FFK my Godsisters.. sorry *evil grin*..

Wednesday's haircut was nice! I like my new haircut! it's short and nicely primped.. Watched Get Smart.. funny! Right.. and Anne Hathaway.. was a bomb! she's more than nuclear hot! haha.. I think she look so much better than Angelina Jolie.. :)

Thursday's trip is gonna be so fun! yea.. I mean "fun".... Alex's gonna talk about the ISA.. Politics.. Economy.. bla bla.. those who read Malaysiakini.com.. Gosh! Gonna die with all these subjects~ Uncle JinChor will crack jokes in between.. Me and Vannitha will sit quietly and listen.. I don't wanna respond coz I think I'll look dumb! haha.. I think it'll be good! Those who don't know.. Uncle JinChor is the Kopitiam actor who plays the role as Uncle Chan - the old Chinese Uncle who's best friend with Uncle Kong - Mano Maniam <=is it Maniam? hmm.. nvm... Ahh.. yes.. I'm talking about my travelmates to Penang.. Friday's food hunting in Penang gonna be great! I miss Penang Food! hahaha... Saturday's battle arena gonna be scorching HOT! I'll be beating everyone! Sunday's podium gonna see me walking home as Champion! Muahahahahhahaa

Okay.. being a little too ambituous here.. bluerk.. Dream Martin.. you won't win! yes.. I know~

*yay*