I see......

I am the blacksheep now. Since the scapegoat was warned not to be the noble messenger, I've not been told things I don't know. And the peculiar awkwardness at home has unfold itself. In my point of view, it's good to let others know what the real issues are. There's no point hiding it from the other parties as what I am saying is the truth. Call me irresponsible, call me rude, call me naive, call me intolerable. Spilled beans, who bothers picking them up? If you have things to clarify with me, come forward and look into my eyes and blurt out your disputes. Don't show me faces and pretend nothing happened.

Wow, it seems like my blog is the only way for me to communicate to some people I see everyday. Hm.. how humourous can that be? Probably, I'm just being cynical~

I try to let go of some issues I kept for quite some time. And when I do, it's really when I cannot stand anymore and it's normally eruptive and explosively a big bad bang! Now, the question is; should I apologise? *shaking my head*

The feeling of being left out in every thing is something nightmarish you can never imagine. Bickering and whispering without you being able to participate worries me sometimes. I think I need to be adapted to these sort of situations as I'll be living alone soon. Wondering if it's a good or bad thing. *I wonder*

These days I could see shadows in the house. I don't know if my spirit and faith is at the lowest level or it's just my imagination. But I know it's starting to be more frequent. I don't like it. I pray everything would be okay again. I'm having insomnia again this time. And I'm still procrastinating my work. I hate myself for this! Urgh!

p/s : Where are my friends when I need them the most? Did I waste my 20 years of life making friends who only find you when they need you?